thoughts of a snowy day.

>> i worked 6 of 7 days and by the end of my shift last night, i was completely donezo. i came home, then visited my grandma with my dad, then konked out. usually on my housewife days (what i lovingly named my days off during grad school), i try to get a lot of errands done, appointments, see people. but today, we were snowed in. quite literally. could not get out (unless i wanted to shovel out snow for 2 hours). i worked out, watched friends, and wore a baggy sweater, nike leggings and camp socks for most of the day (well, until thomas came home and showed me how to use the snowblower, then we took care of the driveway and walks). i forgot about snow and days like this.

>>at thomas' choir concert tonight, i had a rush of memories from back in the day. i was never a good singer, but i enjoyed my three years of choir and learning the songs, performances, the early morning practices. the christmas concerts were always entirely magical. i looked at the kids in each group and i remembered the people were kind of a whole different ball of wax. especially in high school, i think it is so rare to find genuine people, those who are comfortable in their own skin. i had a distinct memory tonight about being in abravanel hall for a choir concert and standing close to the leads of the musicals for one of the numbers. i remember being terrified of them hearing my voice. how silly it is to me now. i don't care if my voice isn't broadway or soloist worthy, i am just grateful i have a voice. i am grateful i can be a total goof singing along to music and enjoying every minute of it. how glad i am for the experiences that have taught me of my worth, my talents as well as the experiences that have taken me out of my comfort zone to help me become a better person each day.

>>i haven't been excited for christmas the past few years, more excited about coming to see my family the last two when i was living in seattle. but this year, i can't get excited. i think it's become far more important to focus on my savior and the things that matter most rather than putting up the decorations or baking or all that jzz. one of the groups sang, "in the bleak midwinter", one of my favorite carols, and the fourth verse always strikes me, the true reason of the season and the gift we all should seek to give our Savior:

What can I give him, poor as I am? 
If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb; 
if I were a Wise Man, I would do my part; 
yet what I can I give him: give my heart.

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