11.24.2014

"for me, it was always going to be about love."


on saturday night,
i left my house with some friends and drove over to kerry park, then gas works park.
looking out at the city, i had so much love fill my heart and so many memories flooded my head.
memories from the last almost fifteen months of being here. memories i thought would make me sad, but i felt an entirely new kind of joy and freedom and love stronger than anything.

upon returning,
sleepily, we sat around the dining room table afterward and read questions and stories from one of my roommate's books, one that tells you about your psyche,
just for fun.
after reading a few, one friend asked me what my favorite color is and what my favorite animal is.

upon responding, she told me what it meant and she said, "you're really a lover, aren't you? you are extremely passionate and all about love for others."

tears beginning to well up in my eyes, i thought about it and responded with a quiet, "yes."

she replied, "don't be ashamed or shy about it. that's something not everyone has, so keep it alive. and another thing, i think you'll never get divorced once you're married. you're all about investing everything into the other person."

it reminded me that i need a soul to invest just as much as i do. because for me, it's always going to be all about love. why put your heart into something or someone unless your whole heart is entirely, two hundred percent there? and as i continue to do that, i find my heart becoming more expansive and stronger than i ever imagined, even with heartaches and heartbreaks.

thanks to my home girl, jane austen. she seems to always know the perfect way to explain my heart.

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