2.05.2013

"So this is love...mmMmmm"--Hannah from Joy in the Journey



This morning, we have a post from sweet Hannah. We attended school together and I have always known of her, but she was a year younger than me. As we got older, I came to know more about her and I can tell you that you won't meet anyone more impressive than Hannah. Hannah has really blessed my life through her rock solid, beautiful testimony and the wise words she has shared every Sunday in the past almost two years of going to our YSA ward. She left us a few times for school and she's in Logan now, but I've always been able to enjoy her words through her blog. Make sure you check it out {here} and enjoy her post! Thanks for taking the time to write this, Hannah! :)
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“You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.”
-Yvaine, “Star Dust”

In thinking about what I want to say about love, I have been at an absolute loss for words.  I think that is one reasons why I love that quote so much.  It acknowledges the fact that it is quite hard to define, but when you feel it, you know it.  I have been asked, “Hannah, how do you know your in love?” several times (as if I am qualified or experienced enough to know the answer to this question.  That’s a joke), but still I think all of us at some point have daydreamed about how you would know if you are probably in love.  Between quotes from movies, pinterest, our moms, our friends, and amazing talks by church leaders, I think we can grasp, in a small sense, of what it means.  However, knowing what it feels like is a completely different story.  That’s where the indescribable part comes in.  Oh, it is glorious!  Whatever degree it is (because we all know that there are, indeed, various degrees of love).   Anyway, instead of saying “here’s how you know you are in love,” because it will be fairly different for every individual, I will just say, “here are some good indicators that you might possibly be falling in love.”  So!  Without further ado,  

  • You would rather be doing something completely boring with him, than doing something exciting with someone else.
  • You find yourself happy just THINKING about him (the way you feel about him when you are away from him is a big one.  It is one thing that will differentiate love from just like. Or lust, I guess.  But we don’t talk about that!!) So yeah just having him in your mind is wonderful!
  • When someone else talks about him in any less than respectful way, or refers to him in worldly or inappropriate terms (yes someone actually spoke this way to my face), you get so angry that you fear for a moment that you might turn into a giant, indestructible, green man who has eaten to many gamma rays.  How could ANYONE talk about such a complex, good, intelligent person in such derogatory terms?!  *Hate* *growl* *claws*
  • When you want so badly for him to get to know and love everything about you and your family - you want to share them with him, and you want him to share his with you.  You want to be with them and learn to love them too.  
  • Heck, you want to share ANYTHING good with him.  Friends, truths, songs, quotes, treasures that are important to you, jokes, CANDY *whaaaa*...just anything good.  
  • You brag about him. :) 
  • You believe in the good in EVERYTHING just because he is in the world.  So it makes everything better.  
  • You have a constant prayer in your heart for his happiness and wellness.  
  • You want sacrifice and give and give and give and serve and serve and serve.  Nothing makes you happier than to support and serve him in ANY way you can.
  • “Ooo, that boy is CUTE!” says your best friends as you walk around campus...”what??” you say, because honestly you didn’t even notice him because other attractive guys just don’t stand out anymore. *shoulder shrug* *meh*  HE IS THE MOST ATTRACTIVE PERSON IIN THE WORLD TO YOU!!
  • People come in and out of our lives, and usually we need to learn to accept that...well with him you could NEVER imagine yourself accepting that.  No way.  Unless it was the Lord’s will, then you’re like, “okay.  If it’s the Lord’s will...”
  • You feel empowered and believe in YOURSELF because you know he believes in you.
  • At the same time, you feel vulnerable and weak and open and see-through.  It’s scary opening yourself up sometimes, but you realize that that’s usually what it takes to move forward.  Risky business.  BUT IT’S WORTH IT! 
  • You feel closer to God and to good and to heaven with him. You want to be better.  So so much better.  And you want to push him to be the best he can be too because you just KNOW what an incredible person he is and can be. 
  • You realize, yes, he has faults, but you accept them, and sometimes even find them endearing and adorable.  
  • You feel safe, in every sense of the word, with him.
  • Trust, trust, trust!  You have an unbelievable bond of trust with each other.  
  • Maybe when you read the Book of Mormon, you compare him to all the amazing men in it because you think HE is amazing and would be comparable to any Book of Mormon hero!  :) hehe
  • FM 100 is your radio station for him.  With all of it’s sappy glory!!
  • You have a new found confidence in yourself because of him. 
  • You are a crazy person all of the sudden.  *googley eyes galore*
  • You find yourself needing to shout at the top of your lungs, “I LOVE HIM!” haha “I’m in love, I’m in love, and I don’t care who knows!”  Buddy would be proud.
  • You find those three words on the tip of your tongue when you are with him because the are aching to get out of your heart!
So there ya go.  Some signs to be weary of!  There are just a few things that show you that the feeling that the world has just stopped spinning because curfew has just happened and he has to leave is validated because well, you probably love him. :) I hope you find it.
  
Because when you do...you’ll know it. 

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