Choosing Love--Krista from Becoming Me

This afternoon, we have dear Krista. Another one of the "wardies" like Kelsey, we have known each other for years. We've laughed and cried over pretty much everything at Girl's Camps, mutual, church, girl's nights, etc. I'm so grateful for Krista's example to me and her friendship over the years. She is a blessing to so many. Thank you for taking the time to post today, Krista! Make sure you go visit her blog {here} and enjoy this post!

I have been a romantic for as long as I can remember. I get giddy in romantic comedies, no matter how cheesy. I read "Pride and Prejudice" at least once a year. And I actually stopped breathing the first time I saw the kiss in "North and South". (If you haven't watched the whole thing, do it. It's totally worth the four hours.)

I'm also a watcher. I watch everyone. Most especially I watch my family and friends. And what I've learned about love from watching has given me an outlook on love that can be a far cry from my romantic roots.

I've discovered that love is all about choices. 

The people that we end up loving most often are the ones we decided to love. Sometimes it is an easy decision. But most of the time it isn't. 

Whether or not you consciously do it, choosing who you love requires you to make a "Pro-Con" list. 

Do the things you like about the person outweigh the things that drive you crazy? And could you live with the things that drive you crazy for a week? How about a month? A semester? A few years? The rest of your life? Eternity?

A couple years ago, my sister Alicia married her husband Peter. Peter is awesome and Alicia is amazing. They have a great marriage, but it took a while to get them there. There were a lot of choices to be made. When they first met, Peter was 26, going on 27 and Alicia was barely 19. They liked each other, but fought it for a few months because of their ages. But eventually they decided that age didn't matter all that much and that they were going to date anyway.

Decision #1: deciding that they liked each other more than they disliked the age difference.

As their relationship progressed, they made many other, similar decisions. We all have to. What if one person wanted to spend more time together than the other? What if one liked to go to bed early and one liked to stay up late? What if they didn't see eye to eye on politics, money management, parenting techniques, or the role of friends and parents in relationships?  What if one of the families didn't like the other person? What if one of them was graduating and the other not? Would they be willing to give up friendships? Would they be willing to break their walls down and trust the other? Would they be willing to change their thoughts, habits, or actions simply because it was important to the other person? Would they be willing to try something new or look at things in a new way? Could they accept each other for who they were and not try to change the other?

While some of those decisions might not seem like a big deal, all of them are ones that we all have to make. We make them everyday, even if we don't know it. We decide to love our brother even though he steals all the towels from the bathroom. We decide to love our roommate even though she goes days without doing the dishes. We love our parents even though they forget to tell us about important events.

Basically, we decide what we are willing to live with or overcome. Relationships of any kind are hard. There are ups and downs no matter what. Every relationship is tested. We all have obstacles we must face and learn to rise above.

Choosing to love someone is not a one time decision. When we commit to loving someone, we have to renew that commitment everyday. Everyday Alicia decides to love Peter despite the fact that he forgets peoples names easily. And everyday Peter decides to love Alicia despite the fact that he doesn't always understand why she freaks out when he throws his nieces and nephews in the air. They decided a long time ago that those things were really quite unimportant in the end, even if occasionally they both get annoyed by them.  

As unromantic as it might sound, love is a choice that you make when your head and your heart are in complete communication. And it's a choice that must be continually made. 

1 comment:

  1. This is so true--that love is a choice! And, for example...this morning I choose to love my husband despite the fact that he just called me saying that he locked his keys in his car and I need to drive to his work to bring him a spare. :) And we were also 19 and 26 when we got married....it never seemed like that much of an age difference to us, though, I guess because we were in college at the same time.


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