remember that time...{family}

the time when i was four and i thought that my parents loved our first dog, wattson, more than me, so i hid in the coat closet for two hours. #onlychildissues

the time when i was four and i wanted attention, so i pretended wattson had bit my finger during a tea party we were having. #onlychildissues

the time when i was four and i would laugh hysterically at ricolla commercials and pretend to be belle from beauty and the beast and walk around the neighborhood holding a basket with a book of mormon in it.

the time i thought kathy lee gifford worked at the check out stands at albertson's and every grocery store trip, i was sure to yell, "HI KATHY LEE!" to this poor red headed woman. those were the days of red headed kathy lee on regis & kathy lee.

the time i believed that all baby's heads were supposed to be shiny, so i tried to shine hope's 1 month old tiny baby head with my spit and elbow grease. that did not go down well with the parents. 

the time toddler hope crunched up all of her ritz crackers in my barbie RV and i thought i could wash all the little crumbs out in the tub, but it just made matters worse. that barbie RV disappeared a few weeks later...

how thomas never crawled, but would sit up and scoot on his bum on the wood floors pushing himself along with one hand. nickname: scooter newman

how hope made EVERYTHING imaginable out of paper and whatever else she could find...including a tree house (using she and thomas' bunkbed), a desk and a chair, a bookshelf, a bird feeder with a pulley system using our play kitchen dishes and shoelaces, and many, many other useful and creative devices.

the time hope was mad that she couldn't go fishing with me, my dad, my grandpa, and my uncle, so she watched mulan 500 billion times and then the next week, she gave herself a hair cut like Mulan did....but much shorter.

the times we spent summer vacation all together at bear lake, boating, eating oreos and watching star wars. sometimes i was allowed to stay up with the grown-ups and watch some of the then new releases that have become our classic favorites like you've got mail and return to me.

how we always used to make up words for everything. most notable in the newman children dictionary:
promatee: garbage can; usage: "to the promatee!"
manatee: a better way of saying "oh man" or "come on, man". like so: "oh manatee!" or "come on, manatee!"
banana cream pie: dad's word for everything he can't remember
garson montay : an expression of frustration
achaveaday [uh-shave-uh-day]: another expression of frustration
achubacabre [uh-choo-ba-cabre]: yet another expression of frustration (or something to say just because it sounds cool)
pleb [pl-eh-b]: disgusting
sam: a nickname for wilson that hope and thomas decided also means "cute" also can be used as "samwers" when referring to wilson.
and then when we were really little if someone made up a word, sometimes the phrase would be heard, "[insert loud gasp here] that's a bad word in my language!" what in the world. we are so weird. i'll be the first to admit it.

the time hope & i told thomas that we didn't like his stuffed animal "lion-ey", so he cut the head off of it and then proceeded with bawling his eyes out. hope, being the resourceful five year old that she was, sewed his head back on the best she could, so thomas had a crooked headed "lion-ey".

the times hope & thomas would get into HUGE arguments about webkinz.

the time five year old hope locked three year old thomas in her room and taught him the macarena. he couldn't leave until he could do it like a pro. he still is scarred by that. "remember that time you locked me in your room and taught me the macarena? that was so scary!"

the time dad started singing and dancing to "you're so vain" like a crazy guy in the basement. he's also a big fan of disco saturdays and says the word, "groovy" a lot.

the time we were in st. george and thomas fell asleep at 8 pm and his snore was the loudest i have ever heard (still to this day)...almost the stuff of surround sound. who knew that 5 year old had it in him?! oh wait... like father, like son.

the times we made pancakes on every saturday morning with dad and watched disney movies.

the times we thought the most hilarious game in the world was to point the chicken at dad and say, "dad, the chicken is looking at you...." we had a wooden chicken statue on our kitchen table when i was younger and it could swivel around in this wood pedestal it was on...so we would spend half of dinner trying to not get the chicken pointed at us.

the time when i lost my retainer in junior high and over the weekend, i had to stew about it and hear about it every minute from my parents and how my teeth were going to become crooked. so by the time it was monday, i rushed to the lost & found to find the retainer (miracles happen) and then put it right back in my mouth. and now you can see why this has become one of my dad's favorite stories about me. oops.

the time we made movies like this on our way to island park/yellowstone. here's just a little sampling of them. "yeah i love that place." "do you know how to get to yellowstone?" "give me twenty bucks!" "hi, catherine" "hi, hope." (and more examples of weiiiird words hahaha) i die everytime...they are so adorable. i need to get a new license plate holder: "my siblings are cuter than yours."

the time we saw sherlock holmes (the first one) with my grandparents and in a very quiet theater, my grandma says very loudly, "what is that?! the raven of death or something!?" instantly became a favorite quote at our house.

the time this trailer came on before a movie and after it had finished, my mom announced very loudly, "well...that was weird!" instantly became another favorite quote at our house.

the time mom said, "who raised you children? wolves?!" as she swiped her bread back and forth across the cube of butter in the butter dish, thinking nothing of it. another favorite quote at our house.

the time mom thought that haymitch in hunger games was called "hamstitch." yes, that was about a month ago when she was reading the book before the movie came out.

the time a few weekends ago when i rushed upstairs and said in my finest russian accent, "ehhh hey peeps, what are we having for ehhhh lunch?" only to see that a man going door to door about cable & internet packages sitting on our couch and my parents saying with weird looks on their faces, "oh hello, catherine..." and then me running back downstairs as fast as i could to hide my shame/beat up thomas who was laughing hysterically at me. then i hear the man say, "you must be very proud of her!"  ohhh dear. slaps forehead.

there are plenty of good ones i missed, but that's basically a little bit of everything you didn't want to know about growing up in the newman residence. hope you're laughing as hard as i am...because it would be embarrassing if you weren't. ;)


  1. HAhahaha. I am dying. I LOVE this. Family memories are so the best.

  2. Hilarious! Such a cute post! xo

  3. Hahahahahahahahahaha I need more of your family in my life. I love them.

  4. The funniest and best things always seem to happen with family around! :D


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