3.26.2012

a lucky pencil.

today is one of those days that will undoubtedly go in the books as "a super trying and hard day as a college student".

nothing will deter me from going into this profession. i love it with all of my heart and i know it is exactly what i'm supposed to do. i know that when i tell people i'm going into speech pathology, they think it is some kind of a fluffy major. it really isn't. it's a lot of anatomy and physiology and knowing the symptoms and characteristics of everything from lou gehrig's disease to stroke/tbi victims to stuttering to dementia to swallowing disorders...in order to know how to diagnose people (in some cases...if the patient hasn't come with a medical diagnosis or needs to be referred to a doctor or specialist) and mainly figure out treatment plans and what tests to use and taking language samples and reading spectograms and audiograms and going through checklists of things to best help the patients learn communication strategies. it's a lot of information, a lot of information that i absolutely love.

but when my latest afternoon class started today and the blank tests were passed out to everyone, i started to shake and tears welled up in my eyes. just about everything today brought me to tears. this semester is undoubtedly one of the hardest i have ever had and i guess it's also a combination of a lot of things...worrying about this test and the one on wednesday and the one i took last week, worrying about applying and getting into grad school next year, worrying about pleasing people, worrying about taking care of others, worrying about how i can become a better person, worrying about family and friends, etc.

worry, worry, worry.

and then while i was driving home tonight, i thought about the pencil i used today during my test. i remembered that this sparkly, purple mechanical pencil was my "lucky pencil" in high school. the one that we would take turns using and we would kiss it before the other one would use it on tests and assignments. how absolutely dumb and cheesy and corny, but it brought a smile to my face. how perfect those days were.

"let's see if this pencil will bring you some kind of luck on this test!" (he gives it a tiny smooch and smiles that golden smile. in that moment, i feel all the luck in the world.)

not all days can be as perfect as those lucky pencil days, but that lucky pencil is always there to remind you on "super trying and hard days as a college student"

that you have had good days

and you have so many,

oh-so many good days to come.

and remember, they will come.

tomorrow will be kinder.

3 comments:

  1. Ahh I hate bad days! But they make the good days so much sweeter :D

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  2. isn't speech path just the best?? it really is. and will ultimately be SO rewarding. best major ever, despite all the hard and scary things (like tests and grad school). :)

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  3. aww, what a great little post with the lucky pencil. and what a great reminder to us all that good days always do come, and we have to remember them during those not so good days.
    xo TJ

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Thanks for making my day!

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