12.27.2011

TMI? Sorry.

My friends and I have been traumatized for years by an experience we all had with a boy we will call CW in seventh grade.

Bless his heart...CW has provided me with great stories throughout the years like the time he went outside for recess and fell asleep in the snow at the back of the field for an hour in first grade and all of the ground duty ladies were in a panic trying to find him. Or the time he sat by me in third grade and I had to pull a card (insert loud gasp here) because I was laughing too hard at his Darth Vader and Chewbacca impressions. Or all the times I heard his high squeaky evil laugh while he was going through puberty.

Moving on...

When we were in seventh grade, CW was in the same math class as me and my friends. I remember one day hearing that CW was really sick. Being the germophobe I am, I hoped that he would be home by the time our math class rolled around. I was happy to see he wasn't in class and I sat in my desk feeling relieved. Then CW half tripped into the class and all the way to his desk, he was coughing and looking very sickly and pale. He sat down and class began. Mr. Free was writing at the board with his back facing us when CW started to make moans. Mr. Free asked him to stop, thinking it was just some of CW's antics. It wasn't really unusual for him to make sound effects like that during lectures. Then Mr. Free sat at his desk and we were given time to work on the assignment in class. It was completely silent until CW decided to vomit all over the place, then grab the garbage can and run out the door.

Everyone was thoroughly disgusted, of course.

But then...guess who showed up to school the next day?

CW.

He was still sick and there were reports of repeat performances in all of his other classes. To this day, my friends and I cringe about that experience we had to witness. Oh, CW.

So... I'm ashamed to say that I have worked all day while being like CW myself. I work in a cubicle away from basically everyone else in my group, so I don't think any of them knew what was going on...thankfully.

I don't know what triggered this, but if I'm still this sick tomorrow, I won't show up.

Promise.

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