7.20.2011

I crack myself up.

Sometimes, I take life way too seriously.

I'll be honest, I'm very Type A. I like to have things organized and planned and know where I'm going and what I'm doing and what's ahead. I always have to check to see if I have my keys, phone, everything in my purse four times before I get out of my car. Then six more times after I've left my car. I like to help people and please them. I like to be prepared, concise, on time, and do things as perfectly as possible. All. The. Time.

Not that I don't know how to kick back and enjoy life. Trust me, I do. I know how to sit around in basketball shorts and a v-neck for half the day without my hair done and makeup on. I know how to eat pizza and watch movies til the cows come home. I know how to look at a sunset (or anything in nature) and feel exquisite joy. I know how to play Just Dance 2. I know how to laugh with my friends and family until I cry or... (well...let's not go there).

But lately, I have realized I can't be perfect. It is practically impossible to be a perfect daughter-sister-friend-dateable girl (Don't ask, because I don't even know what that means)-granddaughter-neighbor-Relief Society President-blah-blah-blah-etc-etc-etc all the time. I'm a mere 20 years old, but I feel like a 50 year old some days. I have been so stressed out and my energy is completely drained. I really wouldn't be surprised if I had stomach ulcers (maybe that explains the no appetite thing for the past month). After church on Sunday, I walked out of a meeting with the Bishop, feeling exhausted and like I have no support at all. I know I do, but I was just having a moment. I guess I looked pretty gloomy, because the second counselor, affectionately known as Snake, grabbed my arm and said, "Show me your smile!!" So I couldn't help but do just that. Smile. Then he talked to me for a minute, asked me if I needed any help, and sent me on my way. One simple act of kindness can go a long way and I needed that more than anything. I doubt you'll read this, but thank you, Snake. But sometimes, we forget about those little acts of kindness and we go back to our stressed and busy and hectic ways.

Which, I did. And this morning, before work, I had a breakdown. Maybe it was because I had bad dreams all night (Voledmort was trying to kill me. Yeah, it was terrifying). But I don't think that was the only thing contributing to my little meltdown to my mom while stuffing my face with a donut and milk ( a breakfast of champions...duh).

As I've been working this morning (trying to work...the system's been super slow), I've been reading through emails between me, Holly, and Natalie. I live for these emails from them. They get me through my work day and they are my way to vent/keep them updated on my life (love life), even though we live 30 minutes away from each other. And as I've read them, I've laughed and smiled at things they've said...but also at things I've said. I crack myself up!

At least to me, some of the things I say are really funny and I probably didn't even write them thinking I was funny. Phrases like "awkward, creepy, yuck-yuck hug" or "The part in monsters inc when boo escapes and they're showing it on the news...'it picked me up and shook me like a dog. it's true, i saw the whole thing!' that is running through my head."

Then later, I don't know why...but I was practicing faces in the bathroom mirror...at work. Uh, oops. And a lady walked in on me doing this. Uh...oops. What was I thinking? I don't know. But I came back to my desk and laughed out loud (lol) for a couple seconds.

It's good to take a second and just laugh at yourself sometimes. We're all human beings and we do funny, crazy, weird things. Let's just admit it. We're all weird.

This life is to enjoy! I've been reading a couple of conference talks and I fell in love with {this one}. Read it and love it. I feel like it was written just for me. Life is truly all about kindness and love--treating others with kindness and finding joy in the small and simple things. I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to start laughing at myself more and being kinder to others. Maybe I won't be perfect, but I'm going to do my best. And hopefully my apetite comes back soon and I'll promise to get more rest to keep my energy up. (Yeah, Mom and Dad, I know you've heard that 5938402 times...I mean it this time!)

So...take some time to laugh at yourself, because I'm sure you are infinitely funnier than I am and I'm pretty funny! ;)

Have a fabulous day!

3 comments:

  1. You are such a sweetheart, Catherine! I just love reading your thoughts:)

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  2. I totally understand. It's easy to get stuck in a rut. I've totally been walked in on in the bathroom making faces too (glad to hear I'm not the only one)!

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  3. I'm just honored that I was mentioned by name. Who doesn't make faces when they look in the mirrior?

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