Taking Charge-Vikki Carrel

"You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you." 
-Brian Tracy-

For our sorority activity last Thursday, we had our advisor's high school friend, Vikki Carrel, come speak to us.

And let me tell ya, it was good.

Exactly what I needed to hear.

She has a couple books out, a website [check it out here!], and she's accomplished some amazing things.

The theme of her talk for us was "Taking Charge".

She discussed the importance of feeling true JOY by removing stress, negative labels, and limitations from our lives. Preachin' to the choir.

I couldn't take notes fast enough, but here are some things she said that I thought were really important and worth sharing:

Remove self-induced limitations from your life. These limitations come in three forms: 

Fear of Failure The real tragedy of failure is NOT the failing, but when someone does not get back up after they fail. You must pick yourself up and keep going. There will always be disappointments and failures, accept that and don't compare yourself to others. Measure yourself by YOU. 
Fear to Change The only thing in this life that is inevitable is change. You can keep doing routine things and checking the same things off your list, but if you aren't changing things and challenging yourself, you will be like a rocking horse. Always moving, but never moving forward.
Transfer of Blame  Accept responsibility for your actions and consequences. Own your choices. You can't blame the world for your problems. Look at how YOU can change and solve your problems.

When you are stressed, step back and take a look at your self definition. What are your personal strengths and limitations at the present time? How can you change these limitations and make them strengths? What can you eliminate? What would you like to become? Is your plan obtainable? It must be obtainable and you must want to obtain this. You are the only one that can motivate yourself to change. 

Evaluate your choices, do not over-schedule, say "NO" to taking on more (it does not make you weak and it doesn't mean you don't have the capacity to do it, it means you are taking care of yourself), and pace yourself.

It's all about perception. Take a negative label and reframe it to be more positive. Instead of being stubborn, you are persistent. Instead of being picky, you are selective. Instead of being a perfectionist, you are detail-oriented. Take your qualities out of the negative light and reframe them. Improve how you can, but sometimes you can't change your innate talents and abilities. Understand the messages you are sending yourself and remove the negative and false ones. Accept yourself for who YOU are. 

Don't make a "To-Do" list a mile long. Because at the end of the day, you will be upset with yourself at not being able to complete the forty-something things on your list. Instead, make a "To-Do" list of your top three tasks of the day. You will be much happier and you will find it easier to accomplish these three important things.

In your mind, make more deposits than withdrawls. 
(Deposits are positive thoughts and input. Withdrawls are negative thoughts and input.)

It takes five positive compliments to cancel one negative comment. Refrain from being the one giving out those negatives. Don't allow negative labels from others or your own negative thoughts to stick to you and bring you down. 

You are the only one you can change. Don't waste your time trying to change others.

I could keep writing things she said, but those were the things that resonated most with me. I think people need to be reminded they are human every once in a while. It is okay to make mistakes, but you must keep moving forward and improving, even if it is just the smallest changes made each day.

I love the following fortune cookie wisdom, quote, and picture:

{photo via}

twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. so throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. explore. dream. discover. 


{Monterey Bay, California 2006}

now, take charge of your life and enjoy the sailing, captain.

1 comment:

  1. This is exactly what I needed to hear today :] Thanks girl! I'm super bummed I missed this night. But I'll be there tomorrow with my dues because I finally got paid! LOVE YOU!


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