1.09.2011

Resolving.

Today, I was at my MFEO BFF's twin brother's homecoming and it was such a good meeting. Clark talked all about his mission and lessons he learned like trusting in the Lord and submitting your will to the Lord's. This is a huge thing I need to work on. Aligning my will with His to the point where anything I ask, I will receive because I know what the Lord wants me to do. (Helaman 10:4-5) Of course, perfection is quite the process and I feel like I'm constantly starting over on doing my best in all I do.


When Clark read the following quote, something just clicked: "Give me all of you. I don’t want so much of your time, so much of your talents and money, and so much of your work. I want you. ALL OF YOU. I have not come to torment or frustrate the natural man or woman, but to kill it! No half measures will do. I don’t want to only prune a branch here and a branch there; rather I want the whole tree out! Hand it over to me, the whole outfit, all of your desires, all of your wants and wishes and dreams. Turn them ALL over to me, give yourself to me and I will make of you a new self---in my image. Give me yourself and in exchange I will give you Myself. My will, shall become your will. My heart, shall become your heart."  C.S. Lewis (Mere Christianity)


When we make goals at this time of year or devote ourselves to any cause, we have to give all of ourselves. We can't give a half-hearted effort if we want to see a change. We need to whole heartedly devote to making the improvements and progress we want. 


After Clark spoke and Holly's musical number, the last speaker had a really good message too. The biggest thing I learned from his talk was that life isn't a competition or about making comparisons. It is about what effort I, Catherine Anne, put into the things I choose to do and the directions I take in life. It's only important to look at your own life and see what improvements can be made. We can't do the right things perfectly all the time, but we can choose the right all the time. 


I have looked at things I need to work on and I've made my own resolutions. I know I could make resolutions about losing weight or getting perfect grades or saving money or many more things. Which are all things I need to work on and I'm planning on doing this year, but I think I want to devote myself more to improving my spiritual self and developing two major qualities. 


1. Gratitude. Last week, Hope told me that President Gordon B. Hinckley once said, "Silent gratitude is the same as ingratitude." I am going to work on being better at expressing my gratitude, vocally and through the written word.


2. Charity. Find good in everyone, praise their good qualities, and refrain from seeking the bad. Be a kinder person.


Along with these, I want to re-realize and re-resolve a couple things. It's okay to be quirky. It's okay to be open to love. It's okay to share your beliefs. It's okay to be comfortable in your own skin. It's okay to love yourself and take care of yourself. I am going to echo Ashley's words and "I'm just going to be me." [Read her post here].  I may add more things I need to work on later as I continue to re-evaluate and look for things to improve on, but for now, this is what I'm resolving to do.

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