2.27.2010

Pearls

Dear Future Husband,

Tonight, my heart is aching for you. The kind of nagging ache that feels like your heart is being pulled apart. My mom, Hope and I watched "The Time Traveller's Wife". I've never thought about being called wife. I've always wanted to get married eventually, but tonight was the first time I thought about being called wife. Your wife. I wanted you to be here, watching it with me. I wanted you to dry my tears (yes, I cried watching this movie...go ahead and laugh) and to assure me that you're not going anywhere. Though you weren't here, I'm sure you will eventually be here to dry my tears and reassure me, even if it's just over a sappy movie, because that's just what an amazing man you are.
Today, I'm wearing my really nice pearls. The beautiful necklace and bracelet my Grandma and Grandpa Newman gave me on my baptism day. As I run my thumb and forefinger along the necklace, I think of you. Did you know that pearls make me think of you? I'm not sure why, maybe it's because of the scripture, Matthew 7:6, or maybe it's because my dad gave my mom a strand of pearls the night before their wedding day. Most days, I am perfectly fine waiting a few years for the man of my dreams--you-- to show up in my life. But right now, I just want to know you...who you are.
I want to feel your strong hand squeezing mine as we walk along city streets. I want to cook dinner together and enjoy it with you in candlelight, as we sit across the table from each other. I want to play the piano while you listen and maybe even join in with me. I want to have snowball fights in the winter and play driveway basketball games in the summer. I want to sit outside on warm evenings and watch the stars with you. I want to sing and dance and kiss in the rain with you. I want to rake big piles of leaves with you, then undo all of our hard work in one huge jump. I want to make big breakfasts, listen to loud music, and do all those yucky household chores we've put off during the week on Saturday mornings. I want to rest my head on your strong shoulder during church. And when we're too tired to do anything else, I'll fall asleep on your chest, dreaming about all the wonderful things we're going to do in all the years to come.
Wherever you are right now, I just want you to know that I miss you. Some days, I feel like I remember things about you from the life we shared before this one. But these fleeting memories just don't suffice. And that's why I'm so glad we'll spend an eternity together, so I'll come to know you again and continue loving you every day, since I've loved you forever.

Lovingly,
Your future wife

PS: You can most definitely tell I just watched a sappy movie, right? Even though it all sounds so cliche, I meant it all...however mushy and embarrassing it is. Love you.

2 comments:

  1. I absolutely loved reading this post! You remind me SO much of me before I met my husband. I used to write letters to him (letters that he very much enjoyed reading on our honeymoon) and he wrote letters to me (that I very much enjoyed reading as well!) It is so wonderful to find someone else that honors their husband all of the days of their life.. not just once you meet him. So wonderful! Can I share a poem I wrote? I penned it just a couple of weeks before the man I would eventually marry took me out on our first date. It's on my old blog, but here is a link :-) Thanks for reading this very long comment (and hopefully my poem!)

    http://lesliekayk.blogspot.com/2007/09/have-you-seen-one-my-heart-loves.html

    ReplyDelete

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